84. Day One
To be honest the last few days were spent panicking about my attendance because of the number of sick leaves I’d taken and sorting out the notes I’d missed. I was internally going through two issues that took me a while understand. When I finally did, I didn’t speak about it with anyone and I kept it to myself.
I could slowly start seeing the change in my behaviour because I was getting more and more frustrated with everyone around me. And I didn’t like that I was changing. So what I did was I said both those issues to people I trust. And to be honest that was so bloody liberating. I’m so so glad that I finally opened up and told someone what I’m feeling. My biggest fear now is that nothing will be done now that I opened up about it.
Apart from that, you all obviously know about the CoronaVirus. You all understand how scary this is. I hope you all are safe and are taking all the precautionary measures. I hope you or nobody you know are affected by it. I’m sorry if they are and I hope they get better soon.
Since I live in India, the number of people infected are luckily quite less in comparison to a few other countries. I hope the numbers don’t change and start reducing in India and the rest of the world.
So I had college till yesterday (mainly because I’m a part of a medical college) and from today till at least the end of this month, I won’t have to go to college.
I was kinda gutted that I’ll have to stay home because it’s been so long since I’ve stayed at home and not done anything especially for this long. I’ve only stayed at home if I was ill or if I had to study. And honestly I was a little scared because I didn’t want to face my thoughts that I’ve conveniently chosen to suppress all along. But last night, I got a bit drunk and I spoke it all out which lead to my second paragraph of this blog post. It was so liberating and I slept like a baby!
Today is officially my first day of being in the house. I woke a little late. Went to a bookstore and bought a couple of books. Came back and had a tummy filling lunch. I literally sat with the phone on my bed for at least 6 hours and I ended up feeling guilty because I didn’t do much. I watched the Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s address to the nation regarding COVID-19.
I have a lot of things to do, I procrastinated them all and ended up doing nothing. It was by far the most boring day I’ve had in a long time. I hope things get better soon. And I hope I learn to fight the boredom and fight for things in general.
That’s all for today. Please tell me how things are at your place and how are you doing in the comment section below. Stay safe and try to be as healthy as possible. Loads of love and positive vibes being sent your way.