46. A Letter To My Lover
This week I thought I will muster up the courage to write about what I expect from my lover. I was refraining from writing about this because my concept of love hasn’t remained constant throughout my life and also from the fear of being judged for having a lover or wanting a lover.
I like to believe that I have a very practical overview of what love is and how I expect my lover to be. I’ve mentioned this in my previous blog posts as well. I don’t really seek materialistic affection. Lust and love are two absolutely different things. Lust can turn into love and vice versa but they’re two different phenomenons which needn’t necessarily be present at the same time. Agreed that this letter will be politically correct because I do not want to indicate anything. So, here goes the letter to my lover:
I believe that everything happens for a reason. So if you are in my life, it is for a reason. I don’t know what that reason is or I’ll never know (considering how slow I am). I always believe that communication is key. Yes, I hate confrontations and I hate sharing my feelings, but when it comes to being in a relationship, I’ll try my level best to be open about my feelings.
I truly don’t need you to do anything for me. I don’t need your constant praises about my body. I don’t need you to buy me things. I don’t need you to pay any bills. I don’t need you to surprise me. I don’t need you to be present all the damn time. I don’t need you to text me all the damn time. I don’t need you to introduce me as your lover to your friends. I don’t need you to include me in your plans with your friends unless you want to.
I just need your absolute honesty. I just need the time that we spend together to be qualitative. I want you to play video/mobile games with me. I want us to play pranks on each other. I need you to team up with me and prank others. I need you to show me you truly care for me even by not verbally telling me. I need you to be able to deal with the egotistical ass that I am. I need you to be able to verbally communicate what you want from me in this relationship.
I need you to accept my family’s restrictions. I need you to respect my family who are the 3 most important people in my life, as they are. I need you to be able to accept my priorities in life. I need you to be able to tell me to shut the hell up when I’m whiny or act needy. I want you to watch matches with me. I want you to have team fights with me. I want you to want to drive with me. I want you to try things you don’t normally do, for me, and be open about whether you liked the said thing or not.
I need you to be able to tell me the important things in your life (even if there is something more important than me, I’ll probably respect you for this). I need you to tell me if you want me to cook for you. I need you to be able to tell me that my dishes suck and what I could do to improve my cooking. I don’t want you to eat bland food that I cook because you don’t want to hurt my feelings.
I need you to be protective about me because I sure as hell will be. I need you to be able to deal with my constant negative self-esteem and self-doubt. I need you to be blunt with me. If you feel something is wrong, I need you to openly tell me. I need you to be able to tell me that you kissed another girl. I need you to be able to tell me if you cheat on me. I need you to be able to tell me if you want to give this relationship another try.
I need you to be comfortable around me and feel free to fart or burp or be goofy. I need you to even be able to crush on other girls or celebrities in front of me. I need you to tell me you’re busy and that you can’t talk right now. I want you to tell me when you are going out for a drink or a smoke, cause I won’t be judging or feeling left out. I want you to be comfortable enough to tell me you failed at something.
I want you to tell me lame jokes that other people so kindly discard because lame jokes are lame. I want you to want to kiss me. I want you to want to hold my hand while walking on the streets because I usually don’t hold hands. I want you to teach me things. I’ll do the same (probably even boast about it) if I know it. I want you tell me if I’m doing something wrong. I don’t mind you telling me I’m wrong at something. I’ll learn and be better at it. Yes, I’m egotistical but I’m always up for learning.
I’ll truly give my all. I’ll love you without even wanting to say those three magical words. I’m not very expressive/romantic when it comes to things like this. But I’ll subtly keep letting you know that you matter and you matter the most. I need you not to label our relationship. I’ll leave it up to you as to how you want to introduce me to your friends. I will always want to kiss you all the damn time. I’ll never say enough or be bored of your kisses. If there is one thing I’ll always be dramatically in need of, it would definitely be those soft/firm/rough/short/long kisses.
Thank you for coming in to my life as my lover. Thank you for everything you’ll do for me. Thank you for being okay to deal with my unnecessary sorrys and thank yous. Thank you for accepting me for who I am. Thank you, my love.
Hope you all liked this letter. Feel free to share it to your lovers. Am I being too unrealistic for wanting a lover like this? What type of a lover do you want and what would you ask from your lover? Feel free to comment your thoughts and feelings about this post in the comment section below. Hope you all have a great week ahead.