26. Uninvited Feelings
She is lost for words. Everything was perfect. It had been almost four months since she felt that way. But one phone call saying “You have to come, no excuses” was all the trigger she needed to bring back those memories. Is she that weak? Didn’t she work for 2 years to be as strong minded as possible? If she lets anything trigger her, then where did that strength that she was trying to build go? Why is she not able to let go, completely? She knows sometimes people say that some feelings are there that you never can let go off. But, no. She worked for it. And, she worked her ass to get rid of this feeling. Maybe it’ll take more time than she anticipated. But, right now, right this moment, she is down in the dumps. She can’t stop thinking about it. And she is going to spend every second for almost a week dreading this feeling. Now, it’s every four months. Maybe soon, it will happen every six months, and finally it will go away and it’ll just become a sour dream. People call her drama queen, weak and pathetic. She doesn’t mind them. She never really listens to what others say because, she knows who she is. But, sometimes, she wishes those labels weren’t true. Her hatred for “labels” begins here. And maybe that’s why she hates when people ask her to label their relationship with her. Because labels only make her feel like shit. And she’d rather meet three different sets of people who want to spend time with her that week rather than run away and feel like shit.