18. Vague Blog
I really need to work on my blog schedule. Some weeks, my blog for the week is ready by Monday. Some weeks, I procrastinate till 11 pm on a Sunday. If I can be honest, I have nothing to say. I don’t really have a particular topic that I want to share my opinions on, this week. I had such a good week that sometimes I’m just taken aback by the number of positive people I have in my life. Here’s a funny thing about this week. I’m this person who doesn’t really go out, often. But, in a span of 7 days, I’ve watched 3 movies at the theatre (there were times when I hadn’t watch one movie in the theatre for 6 months, straight). So, that’s something that happened out of the ordinary. Another thing that happened out of the ordinary was my fear of speaking in front of an unknown crowd has reduced a bit. Now, I’m still stammering. I still have to look at my notes. I still am nervous. But, if asked to do it, I wouldn’t mind doing it. So, there is improvement. I haven’t worked out for 17 days straight, and now, I can feel myself getting tired easily. I need to start again. I need to join some sport. I know saying I have so much to do is just an excuse and I need to stop making excuses. I need to stop being so lazy. You know what I love about myself? I love who and where I am. But, this urge of wanting to do more, is my favourite thing about myself. Today, after so long I went for a walk on the beach with my mother. But, I like walking fast, so I went faster. If you personally know me, you know that I’m sucker for little things in life. So, I went on walking with music in my ears. Everybody kept staring at me, because I wasn’t wearing a “walking-worthy” attire. I was in my jeans, crocs and t-shirt. I know, I can be stupid sometimes. And my calf started hurting badly, because I haven’t been working out. But, I love this pain. This pain in a way tells me that I did something that day. But, while all this was happening, I was free. I was content. I was happy. I was listening to tamil, hindi and english songs that I used to listen to back in 2012. I was happy. May seem silly to most of you, but I loved those 31 minutes. And, I want to do more of that. I want to feel more free. When I drive my car, there is this sense of individuality that I get. I want more of this individuality. When I manage some event, I feel in control of the situation. I want more of that. Sorry for being extremely vague in this blog. But, this is where my mind’s at. Have you felt this way before? What did you to get out of it? Hope you all have a great week, ahead.