16. Unconditional Love
I have always been a sentimental person. Little things have always mattered to me. But, I’ve always been sceptical of love. And I never believed that unconditional love exists. Since I was a ten year old girl, I’ve always looked for hidden agendas when someone showered their ‘love’ on me. And most of the times, I have always been successful in finding out a hidden reason as to why they love me or pretend to love me.
My way of showing love is quite “old-school”. My way of showing love is very different than most individuals, I know. I was never a person who sought materialistic love. I don’t want you go out of your way to prove that you love me. For me, consistency matters. I’m a person who wants you to not be jealous of my happiness. I want you to be there to laugh with me. I don’t want a shoulder to cry on when I’m sad. I want to you bring me back to my laughing self. I don’t want you to bring me gifts. I want you to call or text me and ask me how my day was. To me, that phone call or text will mean more than an Audi R8 ever will. In a way, I want your friendship. I want you to tell me how your day was. For me, that is love. Not gifts. Not Instagram/Facebook captions. Not jewellery. Not validation. Not sex. Not unreasonable dramas. Not lies. Not your repeated attempts at showing the entire world that you love me. Being there for me is a necessity. Having a good time together is more than I’ll ever need. Laughing with me is the ideal relationship. Making me forget all my existing problems is what I look for when I think about the concept of love.
There are a few people who have always showered me with unconditional love. Love that cannot be put into words. This week someone reminded what this unconditional love is all about. Someone I have met only thrice in my life came to meet me. And this person, in a span of 72 hours, changed my entire perspective on love. This individual’s love for me was pure. This love was unconditional. This love was filled with joy. This love left me speechless, and there are very few occasions when I’m left speechless. Very rarely I’m left with “what the fuck just happened?” moments, and this week was one among them. This week when I received this love, I wasn’t able to comprehend what I was hit with. It was overwhelming, if I’m honest.
This person showed me what unconditional love was. Rather, reminded me what unconditional love was. This person who visited me showed me what love truly is all about. Showed me how valuable and vulnerable unconditional love is. This person just made me realise what I have always wanted and helped me put this feeling into words. This person who visited me, is at this stage in life where nothing else matters apart from love and presence. And that was just everything I needed. The hugs I received made me feel so content with everything in life. I didn’t give this person anything. This person didn’t give me anything. But, somehow this bond was created, this bond of love. This bond of unconditional love that I don’t think I’ll get anywhere else.
Now, I believe that unconditional love exists. I’ll always be sceptical of “love”. I’ll always have my guard up. But once I know that a person loves me unconditionally, I’ll give my all. The feeling of unconditional love is something that cannot be truly put into words. I’ve just tried to put it into the context of what my meaning of unconditional love is. Everyone has their own and should have their own meanings. I believe that money and sex can give anyone all the happiness in the world. And you can buy anything with money. But, for me, true friendship, loyalty and unconditional love can never be bought. The three valuables that I can proudly say I possess and value the most.